Showing posts with label Goddess Fish Promotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goddess Fish Promotions. Show all posts

Thursday, April 12, 2018

"Edger" by David Beem

by David Beem

Edger by David Beem

Edger by David Beem is currently on tour with Goddess Fish Promotions. The tour stops here today for an excerpt and a giveaway. Please be sure to visit the other tour stops as well.

It’s been said every story must start somewhere. Ours begins with a professional dork. The kind who fixes computers and lives in his gran’s basement. The kind tapped by destiny (that saucy minx) to become the world’s first superhero!
And not a moment too soon …
A nano-sized artificial intelligence is on the loose! It got itself dart-gunned into a cow butt by a frog man in a porn store! Two stoners are corrupting it on twitter! And that’s just the first three pages!!
Join our dork of destiny as he channels the collective unconscious—his psychic superpower - in a harrowing tale of high drama, romance, betrayal, revenge, jesus chickens, cocaine, weirdos, magicians, ninjas, nfl spies, and disco ball water torture administered to the tune of rapture, by blondie. My god, man, what does it all mean!?
It means uncorking that next bottle of wine isn’t only a good idea - it’s advisable.

Water and glass shower the dance floor. Needle scratches vinyl. Hattori Hanzo seizes control instinctively and I land with the grace of a ninja. Mary, who has no dead ninja in her head, thuds with the grace of a turkey carcass dropped from the Level Two parapet of Westfield Horton Plaza.
“Kill them!” someone yells.
“Don’t kill them!” I yell back, figuring that’s got to be worth a try.
Shots are fired. Screaming patrons run and duck for cover. A bullet ricochets off the wall. I grab Mary by the ropes binding her, and drag her behind a nearby couch.
More gunfire.
I chance a peek. Caleb Montana is near the front door, exchanging shots with two Nostradamus agents hiding behind a life-size statue of Caleb in his quarterback uniform, one arm cocked back, preparing to pass the football, and the other stretched out in front, pointing.
I round on Mary, who flings her wet hair back like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. Water sprays my supersuit’s visor.
“Cut me loose.”
“Right, right,” I say, feeling around on my utility belt. Jeez, I’ve never tried to locate anything without someone helping me from the Collective Unconscious. There are a lot of things here. I pull a tiny ball out, and the nano-technology grows into a switchblade-shaped object. Seems promising. I flick it on. Blue flame blows out from the end.
“Holy crap!”
“Come on, quit fooling around.”
“Don’t rush me! Do you have any idea how stressful this is?”
“Come on,” she says, her voice husky, cheek to floor, back arched, butt in the air.
“You never see Batman having this problem,” I mutter.
[Want more? Click below to read a longer excerpt.]

Praise for the Book
“Beem laces his absurdist plot with kooky imagery. The AI’s biological host is, at one point, a cow, and a nearly 300-pound defensive tackle may be a spy. These gags make it… Outlandish, hectic, and sometimes illogical but undeniably entertaining.” ~ Kirkus Reviews
“I loved the character development, the humor and all the little fandom jokes Edger had to offer. From start to finish David Beam had me hooked. You can’t go wrong with a ‘high tech super-advanced nano-artificial intelligence’ that thinks it might be a neo-Nazi anarchist cow. If you like quirky characters and dialog, a little science fiction, artificial intelligence and superhero’s than you’ll enjoy Edger.” ~ Mahornick
“Beem offers a somewhat unique blend of science fiction and humor. If you are looking for a deep, complicated, save-the-world-from-artificial-intelligence-gone-bad; this is probably not your book. However; if you enjoy reading those save-the-world-from-artificial-intelligence-gone-bad - and enjoy a slightly cynical, nerdy-yet-humorous view of the world - this book is a fun blend of science fiction and humor.” ~ Angela
“OMG - this book was really different but amazing at the same time. David Beem does an amazing job of describing the characters and the action that is taking place. […] I seriously hope that David Beem plans to write a continuation of this book - because I am sure it will also be a hit!” ~ Sue Ann B
“You won’t find any major plot twists in this book and I wouldn’t call it a page-turner, but it’s a very entertaining read. It’s funny which is pretty cool. I had moments where I literally did LOL! If you’re looking for something different from your normal beach read, then this is something to try out. It’s a science fiction novel full of many funny moments and a main character that you can’t help but fall in love with.” ~ Amazon Customer


About the Author
David Beem
David Beem enjoys superhero movies, taekwondo, and flossing. He lives in Djibouti with his family and crippling self-doubt. Help actualize David’s inner confidence. Visit his website today and buy all the stuff.

Enter the tour-wide giveaway for a chance to win a $50 Amazon or B&N gift card.


Thursday, April 5, 2018

"Moonlight City Drive" by Brian Paone

Moonlight City Drive
by Brian Paone

Moonlight City Drive by Brian Paone

Moonlight City Drive by Brian Paone is currently on tour with Goddess Fish Promotions. The tour stops here today for a guest post by the author, an excerpt, and a giveaway. Please be sure to visit the other tour stops as well.

11:18 p.m. Subject is checking into the Desert Palms Motel, accompanied by an unknown female.
Snapshot in the parking lot. Man and woman embrace. Betrayal, I see it every day, like my own reflection in the mirror staring back at me. Another case, another bottle of booze, life is no longer a mystery to me …
… Because I’m the private eye, hot on your trail; the top gun for hire. You’ll find me lurking in the shadows, always searching for a clue. I’m the bulletproof detective. I got my eye on you …
What’s a little sin under the covers, what’s a little blood between lovers? What’s a little death to be discovered, cold stiff body under the covers? I’m digging you a desert grave, underneath the burning sun. You won’t be found by anyone. Vultures circle in the sky, and you, my dear, are the reason why.
… I was always easily influenced.

Book Video

Smith spit out another peanut shell onto his Chevy’s floorboard as his gaze stayed trained on the Desert Palms Motel’s front entrance. His fingers instinctively found the opened bag in the complete darkness and pinched another nut. He squeezed his eyes closed to ward off the simmering residual headache from the most recent blackout. The sound of the rain pelting the windshield was soothing.
“Come on. Where are you? You took the last two nights off. I can’t imagine you being on vacation.”
Headlights turning into the parking lot diverted his attention from the motel’s front door. He squinted to decipher the make and model of the vehicle through the downpour. A Bentley. He sighed and returned his focus to the motel as he fingered the brim of his newly purchased replacement fedora and then tossed it next to him in frustration.
Smith removed his revolver from his shoulder holster and checked that all six chambers were loaded for the umpteenth time. He secured the weapon and grabbed the small notebook from underneath his discarded fedora, lying on the passenger seat, where Wynn should be sitting. But she had maintained radio silence throughout the past two days since storming from Hank’s office. He shook his head in disgust for letting Wynn’s drama distract him from the job at hand.
He swiped the Chevy’s dashboard with his palm to clean off the thick layer of dust that had collected from months of neglect. He wiped his hands on his pants, leaving a graying smear across the fabric covering his thighs. He reached into his trench coat’s inner pocket and removed a silver flask. He opened the top and looked at the engraved insignia on the front. His index finger traced the shining eyeball hanging freely in the cut-out middle of a pyramid. Taking a swig from the decorated flask, he grimaced as the brown liquid hit the back of his throat.
Smith retrieved the Polaroid from the dashboard and cleared his throat. “Let’s see what tricks you’re playing on me now.” He flicked the corner of the photograph as he sighed deeply in expected disappointment.
[Want more? Click below to read a longer excerpt.]

Praise for the Book
“I feel very fortunate to have stumbled upon author Brian Paone at the dawn of his career. I read Yours Truly 2095 this past summer and thoroughly enjoyed his story telling, characters and prose, but I also could see room for improvement. And lo, his latest novel proves that his talent is on a trajectory that will see him as a household name sooner than later. Moonlight City Drive is the kind of story that you think about for days after finishing it.” ~ Christopher Ruland
“Very well written, I was not sure who to root for, who to like, who to hate, and how I wanted it to end. Definitely has dark tones to it with many twists and turns and surprises. Thrilling, exciting read!” ~ Monica
“It's a perfect fusion of the classic detective story and some unexpectedly dark occult horror story. A film noir with fedoras, trench coats, whisky and cigars, but demons and witches are waiting on the corners and in the alleys. I recommend to read it for everyone who's into detective stories, horror stories, or just wants a great book and isn't afraid of living dead ghouls.” ~ Erky-Nagy Katalin
“The story's creativity guarantees its page-turning quality. Highly recommended for those who love to read an engaging thriller.” ~ Dawn Taylor
“This book is hands down the craziest book written about one of my favorite albums ever. Do yourself a solid favor and buy it. I promise you won't be disappointed.” ~ Derrick

Guest Post by the Author
My Writing Quirks
I don’t think an author realizes their writing quirks until they are a few pieces deep into their career. So, it wasn’t until my wife and my editor were reading/working on my third novel, Yours Truly, 2095, when they both noticed different things about my writing.
My editor noticed that the theme of redemption always plays a part in the outcome of either my novels or short stories. I’m a big Star Wars fan, and I think the redemption of Anakin Skywalk/Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi must have made an impact on me as a child. I didn’t realize it until she brought it to my attention, but I do seem to always have one character, who is a really terrible person in the beginning, eventually find the right path.
My wife noticed that I always reference The Wizard of Oz in EVERYTHING I write. Somewhere in the narrative there might be a metaphor where I use a Wizard of Oz character as a reference, or one of my characters mentions the movie or references a scene in dialogue. I was completely unaware that I did this. A fellow author friend of mine, Douglas Esper, told me that he thinks it’s because everything I write tends to hang just slightly over the center line of reality, and The Wizard of Oz is a good example of that happening plot wise. Obviously, watching that as a child molded how I see my own fictional worlds. Not that my stories are fantasy in nature, but obviously that approach bleeds into even my most straight-forward dramas.

About the Author
Brian Paone
Brian Paone was born and raised in the Salem, Massachusetts, area. Brian has, thus far, published four novels: a memoir about being friends with a drug-addicted rock star, Dreams are Unfinished Thoughts; a macabre cerebral-horror novel, Welcome to Parkview; a time-travel romance novel, Yours Truly, 2095, (which was nominated for a Hugo Award, though it did not make the finalists); and a supernatural, crime-noir detective novel, Moonlight City Drive. Along with his four novels, Brian has published three short stories: “Outside of Heaven” which is featured in the anthology A Matter of Words; “The Whaler’s Dues” which is featured in the anthology A Journey of Words; and “Anesthetize (or A Dream Played in Reverse on Piano Keys)” which is featured in the anthology A Haunting of Words.  
Brian is also a vocalist and has released seven albums with his four bands: Yellow #1, Drop Kick Jesus, The Grave Machine, and Transpose. He is married to a US Naval Officer, and they have four children. Brian is also a police officer and has been working in law enforcement since 2002. He is a self-proclaimed roller coaster junkie, a New England Patriots fanatic, and his favorite color is burnt orange.

Enter the tour-wide giveaway for a chance to win a $50 Amazon or B&N gift card.


Thursday, February 22, 2018

"Revision is a Process" by Catherine E. McLean

Revision is a Process:
How to Take the Frustration Out of Self-Editing
by Catherine E. McLean

Revision is a Process: How to Take the Frustration Out of Self-Editing by Catherine E. McLean

Revision is a Process by Catherine E. McLean is currently on tour with Goddess Fish Promotions. The tour stops here today for my review, a guest post by the author, an excerpt, and a giveaway. Please be sure to visit the other tour stops as well.

A first draft holds the possibility of what will be a great story. Revision turns that rough diamond into a spectacular gem worth a reader's money and time.
Writers are individuals but to be a producing writer means creating a system to revise and polish a work so the reader thoroughly enjoys the story. Revision is a Process is a guidebook for writers and authors that shows how a simple 12-step process can be tailored to eliminate the most common and chronic maladies of writing genre fiction. This valuable guidebook contains secrets, tips, practical advice, how-to's, and why-to's for taking the frustration out of self-editing.

From Section 9 - Said is not Dead
One of the most controversial aspects of writing dialogue is the use of said as a speech tag. Some think using said is pedestrian and boring, others pepper every line of dialogue with said for fear the reader won't know who is speaking. The fact is that said is nearly invisible to a reader. However, overuse is a common problem, so delete as many as possible without jeopardizing clarity or use beats. (Revisit the Oubliette example on the previous page. Said was not used. Beats were.)
In your review to minimize using said, watch for LY or ING ending speech tags like: "Drop dead," she said dramatically. That tells (and does so poorly). Instead show with a beat: "Drop dead." The anger in her voice was unmistakable. You should avoid such tags as "Of course," he said knowingly (which has an ING and an LY). You may catch the LY and ING tags in the passivity check, which is discussed in Section 11. However, don't mistake the ING words when they're necessary, such as "Oh, that dialogue speech tag has a participle added to it," Marsha said, squinting at the underlined word on the page.
Yes, that's right, squinting is part of a participle phrase, which can be useful in speech tags.

Praise for the Book
“... this book was so well organized and clearly written that I was motivated to pull out an old abandoned story I had attempted earlier. That story had proved difficult to revise and Ms.McLean's book now provides the guideposts I need to get the revisions completed. I definitely recommend this work to any writer (beginner or experienced) who needs a simple, direct road map to revising their written project.” ~ Willow
“A good book for those who are learning to write. The book is worth reading because it has a few nuggets worth reading for.” ~ ALS
Revision is a Process by Catherine E. McLean is a nicely detailed guideline of the steps that need to be taken to polish a manuscript. […] This is a great reference work and I highly recommend it.” ~ Elf2060
“Her book is not only a convenient source of knowledge, it is also a welcome addition to any writer's library. […] Years of trial and error have produced this excellent work that will save you many hours of editing and frustrations encountered in all revisions.” ~ Cal McFarland
“Excellent book. Catherine explains things clearly and leads you through the editing process with ease. Her book Is very educational and a excellent tool.” ~ Lou Gross

My Review
I received this book in return for an honest review.

By Lynda Dickson
In order to enjoy a book, the reader needs to become immersed in the story and not be dragged into reality by glaring errors in logic, punctuation, or grammar. This handy guide points out the most common errors writers make, many of which annoy me as a reader but which I was previously unable to pinpoint. The author breaks down the editing process into manageable pieces, thus making the task less daunting. She also provides concise advice and examples to illustrate the process. There is even a summary and checklist of the twelve steps at the end of the book.
This is an invaluable guide for the self-published author or any author who wants to polish their work before showing it to anyone else. I’m glad the author states that, even after undertaking the self-editing process, you will still need to give your manuscript to “the best fiction editor you can afford.”
I'm disappointed this book is not available in an ebook edition.

Guest Post by the Author
What are the most important elements of good writing?
My three essential elements to good writing are:
1. Clarity trumps all rules.
2. Craft can be learned.
3. Ruthlessly self-edit to generate a worthwhile manuscript.
W. Somerset Maugham said, “There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.” I disagree. I think clarity trumps all rules. After all, if the message isn't clear, who will understand it?
One of my favorite books that drives home clarity is William Zinsser's On Writing Well, in which he advocates for simplicity and says that “Every writer is as obligated as every other writer to make themselves understood.”
If clarity in fiction and storytelling is to be achieved, it begins with sentences that are clear and understandable. Those sentences must naturally sound like words belonging to the story's narrator (through their opinionated view, diction, syntax, and vocabulary).
Two elements make sentences awkward and hard to understand. The first are clauses. Keep this in mind: clauses clog a sentence. Cut as many of them from your sentences as you can without destroying the narrative voice.
The second element of awkward-to-understand sentences is the overuse of prepositions. They often pepper sentences, making them lengthy.
Did you know that the experts consider 20 words to be an average sentence? So, when self-editing, look for long sentences and see if clauses and prepositions are hampering clarity. And do ask: can some of the sentences be broken into two sentences or reworded for clarity?
Now for learning the craft. I often use this analogy about writing - if you wanted to learn to swim, would you jump into the deep end of a pool and expect to swim without any problems? Of course not. Instead, you would go to a recreational center that offered swimming lessons. You would learn the basics, and you would learn how not to drown. If you really liked swimming and were good at it, you would take more lessons and do butterfly strokes and breast strokes, maybe even enter competitions to see how good you were.
It's the same with writing. You have to learn the basics and then test the waters, then learn more and more about storytelling and its techniques and devices which will turn your work into a winner of a marketable story.
Talent will take a writer only so far. It is craft that enhances and liberates talent. Best of all, craft can be learned.
Now let's look at ruthlessly self-editing to generate a worthwhile manuscript. It took a six-month binge of reading only texts about revising fiction to open my eyes and realize that revision should not be the frustration it is. I discovered a writer needed to change their mind-set about how to revise and concluded a writer should consider revision is a process, and treat it as such. Once I gained such insights, I created my Master Revision Cheat Sheets so that my manuscripts are edited in weeks, not months or years. In 2015, I shared my insights in a twelve-part series at my Writers Cheat Sheet blog and at the end of the series promised to put the posts into a guidebook. Revision is a Process: How to Take the Frustration Out of Self-Editing was released in April 2017. This guidebook contains more information and examples than the original posts. Also, at the end of the text is a Master Revision Cheat Sheet check-list.
Does a writer have to go through each of the twelve steps? Of course not. You see, some things a writer knows they did right from the onset and won't have to look for them. However, other things need to be checked so an editor won't waste their valuable time pointing out the same things ad infinitum.
Having a revision process also means a book is less likely to have errors that will turn off readers, editors, and agents. Having a process means a writer doesn't read through a story a million times trying to find and fix things. (Such multi-tasking doesn't work.) However, searching for specifics and fixing them (and only them) before moving on to the next item, does work.
I welcome your comments, thoughts, and insights on clarity, learning craft, and ruthlessly self-editing.

About the Author
Catherine E. McLean
Catherine E. McLean's lighthearted, short stories have appeared in hard cover and online anthologies and magazines. Her books include Jewels of the Sky, Karma & Mayhem, Hearts Akilter, and Adrada to Zool (a short story anthology). She lives on a farm nestled in the foothills of the Allegheny Mountains of Western Pennsylvania. In the quiet of the countryside, she writes lighthearted tales of phantasy realms and stardust worlds (fantasy, futuristic, and paranormal) with romance and adventure. She is also a writing instructor and workshop speaker. Her nonfiction book for writers is Revision is a Process: How to Take the Frustration Out of Self-Editing.

Enter the tour-wide giveaway for a chance to win a $50 Amazon or B&N gift card.